Name: Pam Gardner

Parish: Member of St. John Church, Newburgh

Married for how many years? Wife of Jeffrey Gardner; they have been married for 43 years; two children and two grandchildren.

Tell us three things about yourself: I’m a cancer survivor, I’m a Catholic, and I’m a wife and mother.

What is an early memory of church? My father moved quite a bit when I was a child. The first thing I remember about being Catholic is going to a Catholic school. We lived in Tennessee, and there were not too many Catholic schools there. One little town we lived in had a three-room school, and three nuns taught there. They had chickens, cows and pigs. I remember the nuns going out and chasing the cows. We moved to Evansville when I was in the seventh grade.

What is one of your earliest childhood memories? Thanksgiving at my grandmother’s house in Kentucky. We’d have these big family reunions. We would eat, and then go to the annual high school football game.

Who taught you to swim and to drive a car? My father taught me how to swim. At one time we lived in a small town close to Kentucky Lake. There was a park there with a swimming area, and that’s where I learned to swim. My mother and father tried to teach me to drive, but did not succeed, so one of my aunts taught me. The car I learned on was a ’55 Chevy (or something like that!).

What was your first job and what did it pay? When I was 14 or 15 years old, I had a job cleaning tables at Betty’s on Kentucky Avenue, which was owned by my great aunt.

Who were your favorite singers/actors when you were young? Elvis Presley, Nat King Cole, James Dean and Robert Waggoner.

Who influenced you growing up? I had a great grandmother who lived with us for a short period of time. She died when I was in the sixth grade. She had a cane, and if we were doing something she didn’t like, she would hit us on the backside!

Who do you consider to be a hero today? The obvious answer today would be Pope John Paul II. One thing I admired about him is his connection to Mary. I pray to Mary daily, and the fact that he was so close to Mary means a lot to me. When I pray to her, I feel a calmness that comes over me. I feel like everything’s going to be OK.

What do you like most about being Catholic? While watching coverage of the pope’s death, I saw a woman on TV who said, “Living as a Catholic is not that easy, but dying as a Catholic is a great experience.” As a Catholic, your faith tells you that you’re going to a better place and your suffering is over. There’s a lot of truth in that. Living day to day, being Catholic is not easy because of the rules, but when it comes to your death, you know you are going to a better place.

What are you involved with at your parish? I’m on the bereavement committee and I have volunteered at Mother Theresa’s (the thrift store at St. John’s). I have had health problems the last four years, so I have not been as active in the parish.

Describe a time when you relied on your faith. I used to be one of those fair-weather Catholics. I’d go to church on Easter and Christmas, but I wasn’t faithful in my religion. That changed about four years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. As a Catholic, when you’re facing death, you do realize how important your faith is. I have also been treated for lung cancer and have had bypass surgery and congestive heart failure. Through all of it, I have renewed my faith. I’ve looked at what happened to me as an opportunity to do that. Once you accept that it is in God’s hands, there is a peace that comes over you. You know that God loves you. God’s not going to do anything that’s going to hurt you. Going through cancer, I really could feel God. It sounds strange to say, but I enjoyed that comfort, that gift He gave me when I was going through my illness.

Have you encountered a miracle or God’s intervention in your life? When I had my lung surgery, I was in the ICU for three or four days. The day I came out of ICU was the same day my husband was diagnosed with cancer, so we were in the hospital at the same time. There was a time in that period when I was very depressed and had a lot of anxiety. I could literally feel God pick me up and carry me. I felt He was taking the steps for me that I needed to take. He gave me a period of rest. It was like He said “OK, I’ll take care of this for a little while.” Three things that got me through: my faith, my family and my friends. Your faith will take you through everything, and that connection with friends is so important to you emotionally. It was like a gift from God, having such support from my friends when I was sick. It takes just a second to send a card, stop by or call, but it means so much.

Do you have any hobbies? I love to do craft things around the house, like sewing, painting and refinishing furniture.

What have you learned?  How are you different than 20 or 30 years ago? I have a tendency to listen more and to appreciate little things. I’ve got a saying I saw years ago in a magazine article about Katherine Hepburn. Generations of her family have lived by this motto: “Listen to the song of life.” Whether it is a dog barking, baby crying, beautiful prayer, beautiful song or a bird singing, just sit back and enjoy it! I feel like I don’t take things for granted as much as I used to, especially my husband, family and friends.

What makes a success? I have no idea, but if I go to bed at night and say today was a great day, that works for me.

What is the last movie seen or book read? I enjoy movies, period. They are just a very entertaining way to escape from the day-to-day routine. The last movie I saw was “Robots” with my grandson. We had slushes and popcorn. “This is fun!” is what he said about it!

What’s the best advice you ever received? My mother said, “When you get up in the morning and look into the mirror, I hope you like the person you see.” It’s very important that you like yourself.